Moving Beyond Surviving to Being Truly Seen

I’ve Been Thinking: Why Give Therapy a Chance?

By Rodney Ford, LICSW

After 25 years in this field, I’ve started to think less about what therapy is and more about why someone would actually give it a chance.

I suspect a lot of the hesitation comes down to the "messages" we’re given. Maybe you’ve never tried it because the version of therapy you’ve heard about feels rigid, disconnected, or like a lecture. Or, perhaps you have tried it and walked away feeling judged or not truly seen, which makes the idea of starting over feel like a lot to ask. If you've ever felt like a set of symptoms rather than a person, I can see why the idea of therapy—for the first time or the second—feels intimidating.

To me, the reason to give it a chance isn't because a textbook says so, but because the right approach should feel fundamentally human. While there are numerous therapeutic methods out there, I’ve found that the real priority is finding the one that actually feels right for you.

"Therapeutic" vs. Psychotherapy

I find it helpful to make a distinction here. Lots of things in life are therapeutic: a long bike ride, a deep talk with a friend, or finishing a project. These things help us regulate and feel better in the moment.

I see psychotherapy as a more specific, intentional process. In my view, it’s about helping you understand the "why" and "how" of your life so you aren't just surviving the week. It’s about gaining the awareness to make different choices and recognize your stress responses before they take the wheel.

Explanations, Not Leeway

I often hear people worry that their experiences will be used as excuses for what’s going on now. They’ve been told—by society or even those close to them—that they should just "get over it," as if those messages and events aren't supposed to have an impact on the present.

In my observation, just getting over it is very difficult. Too often, people act like this is an easy process, but they are oversimplifying it way too much.

I tend to look at it differently: if a behavior is harmful to you or others, I don’t believe there is a justification for it. But there is usually an explanation. We can acknowledge your history to see the messages you received and how you learned to survive. Maybe you picked up certain practices because you had to, but now you’re noticing they aren't helpful anymore—and maybe they never really were.

I don't think recognizing these patterns is about giving yourself a "pass." To me, it’s about awareness. I believe that when you're aware of what is influencing you, it can lessen the power those old survival tactics have over your life today. You aren’t looking for an excuse; you’re gaining a strategy to take responsibility without constantly knocking yourself down for being impacted by your own life.

You Are More Than a Label

I try to stay vigilant against approaches that only see symptoms and diagnoses. From where I sit, you aren't a walking disorder; you’re a human being with a story.

That’s why I value intersectionality. None of us live in a vacuum. Your race, gender, age, and background are the layers that shape your experience. If a therapist ignores your environment or your identity, I believe the process is at risk of dehumanizing your experiences. My thought is that to actually heal, you need a space where you feel genuinely seen.

How I Work: Strengths and Stories

I tend to work from a perspective that sees you as the expert on your own life (sometimes called a post-modern approach). I’m not here to be the "boss" of your story; I see myself as a collaborator. My focus is usually on:

• Your Strengths: What is already working for you?

• Your Solutions: Where do you actually want to go?

• Your Narrative: What are the stories you tell yourself about who you are?

  
  

The Bottom Line

You don’t need a therapist to find therapeutic moments in life. But if you’re facing challenges and feel like you’re missing the tools or the safety to navigate them, therapy is one place where you can build those resources.

Being human is complex, and I don't think you should have to fear judgment while you’re figuring it out. Whether you’ve never felt seen in the past or you’ve been hesitant to start because of the messages you've received, I’d suggest that it might be about the approach, not your worth. You don't have to navigate the hard stuff alone.

If this way of working resonates with you, feel free to reach out. I’m always happy to chat about how we might navigate these complexities together.